We’re back at it again, and today I feel like being a bit extra personal. So I’m 21, and I have never been in a relationship. See, I have had “Situationships” if you will, but like a full committed relationship has never occurred in my life. This is truly not something I feel bad about, actually I feel pretty blessed to not be with anyone.
Don’t get me wrong. Of course I feel somewhat bad for not having had a “Teenage romance”, but now, being 21 and single is the best thing ever.
I have done a lot of things since I graduated highschool, that being two years ago, and many of these things would not be as easy to do with a partner. For example, I have done a season in austria. For six months I moved there, worked and lived my life there. And to say this is one of the most amazing things I have ever done is an understatement. I loved it. I learned so much about myself and what I value in life.
When I ask my friends if they would like to do something similar with me, I often get the answer “I would, but I don’t think I could move away from my boyfriend”. And believe me, I get it. It is difficult, if I had someone I probably wouldn’t have moved away. That’s why I feel like it is a blessing to not be with someone in your early 20s.
Think of it like this. What if you spend your whole 20-26 years in a relationship and then you end up breaking up, which, hate to say it, is pretty likely. Now in the future, whenever you think back on your 20s, this person will exist in your memory. Not that it necessarily has to be a bad thing, but your memories won’t completely be your own. You will share the memories with someone.
Furthermore, one of my best friends just broke up with her longtime boyfriend of seven years, she is 22. That means they have been together since she was 15 years old. One of the first things she said to me was, “I don’t know who I am without him”. Truly this is something I can’t relate to. I have never had to be a part of someone else. I have always been my own person. And I think that has shaped me into who I am today, and kept me from being codependent.
See it as a blessing rather than a “falling behind” type of thing. Of course, if you are in a healthy and good relationship, don’t break up just because I say being single is the best. But if you don’t have anyone, see it as a blessing. You get to invest all your time in yourself.
So does it have to be such a bad thing to never have been with someone, no! I truly am grateful for not feeling like I’m a part of a pair, and the fact that I could pack up my things and just move away keeps me calm. So never feel bad for not having someone, it allows you to love yourself a hundred percent instead. Which is important as a young adult. Thanks for reading my babbling about being single. Please let me know if this is something you would like to read more about, I have a lot to say about it.
Until next time…
Grew up blog